She said her name was "party"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
