So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize