His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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