I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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