There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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