fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
