Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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