if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
