No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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