tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize