I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
tell me about the eggs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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