ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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