I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
