It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
