Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize