I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
