On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
