you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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