A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
