we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
