Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You are a genius and a whore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
