awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
