Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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