I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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