Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
