Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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