There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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