chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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