I hope mine doesn't look like that
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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