i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
its not stalking. its research.
well you can't waste a boner
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
