Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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