just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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