as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
