i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
