I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
