well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
