I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
