My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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