She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
