I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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