id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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