If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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