Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
