So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
