What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
