So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
