it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
