also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
