batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
