i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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