Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She bit a glass in half.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
