Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
