can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
