How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
