Your dad touched me again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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