so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
