You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
