just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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