honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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