He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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