Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
