uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
