I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
