Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
