yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
