A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
